3DS Outpost: Desperate Times Call for Ice Climber Multi-player

Background: I work at a summer camp. Sometimes it rains at a summer camp. One of those instances, and a particularly dangerous one, happened at 4:30 AM on Friday, May 30th, 2013.

And so, when you and a fellow staffer (doba) are sitting in the dining hall for like 2 hours in the early morning, having already beaten WarioWare and being just kind of tired of everything, you take a desperate route:

Ice Climber download multi-player mode.

Ice Climber became available to 3DS owners in 2011 with the 3DS Ambassador program. Of these twenty titles, Ice Climberstands out as one of the most questionable releases. While many players, mainly those from the 1980s but not limited to them, remember Ice Climber fairly well, many current players stay away from it due to the slippery controls and narrow jump arc. I fall in the latter category.

Single player in Ice Climber works like this: Run left and right, then jump to clear a hole in the icy ceiling above, then jump again to go through said hole. If any animals come, show no mercy and hit them in the head with a hammer. If you fall through your own hole, then you're dead. Do that three times and Game Over. Though I never played Ice Climber while growing up, all of my experiences with it could have been worse.

Multi-player in Ice Climber works... exactly the same way. There's another one, though. It's sorta like a race between the blue one (Popo) and the pink one (Nana). Though vertical scrolling typically kills the player in single player, one player's speedy ascent cannot lead to another's lost life as long as the player on the bottom doesn't fall into a hole. That's nice, as it keeps the competition going between both players, as well as doing a part not to make the multi-player unplayably hard. 

Via the 3DS' download play, Ice Climber's multi-player works fairly well. Not bad, not great, but certainly lasting.

The 3DS Outpost: First, a few confessions

I like to title things. That's my first confession. I like having columns with titles. I also like the 3DS. In this "Column," as it could loosely be titled, I'll talk about the 3DS.  Now for some 3DS-related confessions:

1. I haven't played with the 3D on for months
It gives me a headache. That sucks because I like the 3D effect but I don't so much like physical pain. Granted, even before the system launched, I thought that I would never use the 3D because I assumed that there would be problems with the technology. Thankfully, there were none, but I still don't use the 3D technology.

2. There are a few MP3s on my SD Card
I'm willing to bet that most people don't know that the 3DS has the capability to play MP3s. Well, it can. I've written about this feature before, (Mainly about the laughable attempts at auto-chiptune creation) but still, I have yet to meet anyone who actually uses the 3DS' music player capabilities. I knew a few people back in the sixth grade who used the MP3 player on the PSP, but other than that, these tacked-on music players on gaming devices seem to be mostly obsolete. I wonder when they'll stop trying.

3. I haven't used SwapNote in months
Others have probably done the same. I haven't checked it, even though I could. Really. My 3DS is right next to me and I don't even care enough to look. Sorry if you have sent me anything in the past few months, either of you.

4. My collection does not contain any sports games
Weird, considering the fact that I basically play sports games and nothing else if the stuff that I upload online is any measure. Is that weird? I hope not. At this point, I've only seen a handful of sports games available for purchase. There's a Madden game, Mario Tennis, and a few FIFA and Pro Evolution Soccer games. I like the idea that both FIFA and PES are available on the system, as that seems to be the only real competition in sports games currently going (unless you want to count the competition between the arcade style NBA Jam and the sim NBA 2K series) I'll probably buy PES 2013 sometime soon.

5. The 3DS is home to my favorite game
My favorite game of all time (at this point, at least) is Mario Kart 7. MK7 currently sits atop my 3DS' rankings in terms of both hours played and times played, mainly because in early 2012, it became a distraction from insomnia. There's nothing better than being unable to sleep at 1 AM and racing against a group of Japanese people. (Correction: Losing against a group of Japanese people). I still consider MK7 to be the best Mario Kart and the most fun game on the 3DS, as well as probably the best game of all time up to this point.

So those are a few confessions. Feel free to comment yours as well!

Post Play Report: Teenagent

Wikipedia

I really thought I would enjoy Teenagent, but that just wasn't what happened. I liked the premise, I liked the humor, and I liked the characters, but eventually, it just became too difficult for me. In most games like this point-and-click game from 1994, I don't need to use a walkthrough for many things. I hate using a walkthrough unless I'm absolutely completely stumped. If I can figure something out on my own, I will. In Teenagent, I would find myself completely stumped every few minutes.

Of course, much of this is my own fault. I understand that I have to think with adventure games, and sometimes, I felt stupid, quite frankly, when I would find the answer to a puzzle in a walkthrough. In a few instances, I was just about to try something (for instance, using a spring in getting over the brick wall), but I felt it probably wouldn't work. That led me to become less lenient with my peeks at the walkthrough. Of course, when the time to actually do a mission came, I got completely lost.

There was so much to find! My inventory was constantly expanding upon finding small things in abandoned houses, tricking people into leaving their houses in order to steal from them, and stealing from small animals. It was really interesting to look at what I had and think of what I could do with them. I was excited for how, when, and where these items would come into play. But eventually, the tedium kind of took over in.

I wanted something, anything to happen, and it didn't. I just wanted the plot to advance, but I just got bored with it and put it down. I don't think I'm going to continue. I also don't think all of that is my fault. Some of the puzzles were just asinine. At some points, I found myself scanning my eyes across the screen, my face just inches away from a screen that can't possibly be helping me in health, in order to find some mythical object sitting underneath a chair or on a pathway. I understand that both of these are to be expected from classic adventure games, but it got a little ridiculous in some cases.

There isn't much to hate about Teenagent, and I'll absolutely admit that this is an above-average game, but there are better games to go for. To be fair, you can try Teenagent for absolutely free by signing up for an account at gog.com. If adventure games are your kind of thing, then go ahead and try Teenagent for free. Just keep in mind that great patience is a must.

This lunch line is too goddamn long

Something game related. Mario Paint music stuck in my head. Smells way too heavily of pizza here. I'm really excited for Gone Home.

what the hell happened to regular italian sandwiches Planet Sub these are exactly the same except you renamed it "Spicy Italian." Any way you slice it (right down the middle of the baguette typically) you lied. You lied, Planet Sub.

Games Update: 3/24/13

Haven't done this in a while. Due to the NCAA Tournament, I've been completely enthralled with watching every game, no matter how lopsided the victory is or how long it takes. (Also my mother is using the basement TV for basketball watching so I don't get to play as much as I would typically during a week without anything else to do.) Typically this week would be spent on the TV but for other reasons I cannot use a mouse on my laptop correctly this week either. SO HERE'S WHAT YOU GET

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 (XBOX)
I own like 4 different versions of this game. When I first obtained a copy (back in 2002 when I turned 7 years old), I played through the game with nearly every character with all cheats in use. Special meter was always full, perfect grind and manual balance, and surf mode, which made it nearly impossible to fall if you land sideways. I was like 7, don't blame me.

Two years ago, I played and completed 100% the original Tony Hawk's Pro Skater on the Sega Dreamcast. While I actually probably had the least experience (of the first few THPS games) on the original, I played all the way through it. With every skater. On the Dreamcast. You see, I was working at a camp, living in a small 4-person cabin. I only had a small TV, my Dreamcast, and the great outdoors. In order to stay away from the great outdoors at the place where my job was to teach kids about the wonders of the great outdoors, I played with that Dreamcast. Unfortunately for me, my Dreamcast library was barely anything compared to what it is today. Basically, I owned the first two Tony Hawk's Pro Skater games, Sonic Shuffle, Sydney Olympics 2000, and Unreal Tournament. Most of these games were geared towards multi-player action, but the only roommate who I would have wanted to play against had stopped working there for a few months. So I sat alone, with the first THPS, intending to complete the entire thing. With every skater. Even the hidden ones. It took a long time, but I was able to get my 100% completion time down to like 25 minutes per skater. (I was really goddamn good is what I'm trying to get across)

So now, because I'm pathetic, I've started to do the same with THPS3. This is basically all in the name of misplaced nostalgia. I'd like to replay the game I beat as an eight year old but without cheats. Some kids were in little league. Some kids played games against their friends. Some kids rode bikes and went on adventures. I cheated and completed almost all of THPS3 and LOOK WHAT I BECAME.

College Hoops 2K7 (XBOX 360)
I'm playing 2 sports games. Sue me. This is an impulse play based on March Madness, nothing much to see here. I love the legacy mode, though. It's a whole lot of fun to take a small team from the Ivy League or the MEAC or the like and turn it in to a big program (though it takes a lot of time). I find stupid stuff like that to be very enjoyable (though I don't have any reasoning as to why). Hopefully, once I'm done with this, I can play a longer RPG style game, because I think it would be fun in the same kind of way.

The Best Video Games of March Madness

March Madness fever has, like some sort of awful epidemic, spread through the United States of America within the past week, taking over the minds and voices of everyone within an office pool or with nothing else to do. If you’re an awful impulse player like me, who only plays some sports games when they’re in season, you’re scrambling for any College Basketball games you can get your hands on by this point. I’m here to help you out. Here are some of my favorite games that exemplify the sport and excitement of this month that we in the States call “March.” (and those in Quebec call “mars”)

6. NCAA Basketball (SNES)

                                                                                         Gamefaqs

I made a video about this a little while ago. The gameplay doesn’t look like fun, because players move very slowly. However, after a few minutes, you’ll realize that NCAA Basketball plays much better than it looks. You won’t get much more than a few games out before boredom takes over, but NCAA Basketball provides a pretty good time sink for a quick College Basketball fix.

5. NCAA March Madness 2003 (PS2)

                                                          Gamefaqs

This game makes great use of the NBA Live 2003 engine. In fact, you could get away with referring to this as a carbon copy. By no means is this a negative fact: NBA Live 2003 is an excellent basketball game as well. Unfortunately for those looking for an authentic simulation, NBA style gameplay does lead to NBA style scoring, so most games end up with unrealistically high scores. Still, the expanded Season and Dynasty modes add a lot of depth to an already enjoyable game. Does it lack a few things? Absolutely. There's a notable absence of most mid-major programs, but that's a common factor in many College Basketball games of that era.

Gamefaqs

4. College Slam (SNES):

Gamefaqs

I made a video about this game roughly two years ago in a hotel room in Wichita, Kansas at like 9:30 in the morning with a cheap Philips microphone headset from a Target. It’s a little out of date, but the points I brought up are still relevant today. College Slam basically stands as an NBA Jam clone made by the same people who made NBA Jam. While there are no real player names or likenesses, using the facsimile of your school of choice to jump like 80 feet in the air over a player from your rival team is amazingly satisfying. While College Slam lacks in the realism department, I don't think that fact matters to anyone playing, as players are sure to get a quick and enjoyable experience from this title.

3. Final Four 1999 (PSX):

Gamefaqs

The first in 989's Final Four series is undoubtedly the best. Unfortunately, it isn't terribly realistic, and the A.I. can be amazingly stupid at points, just giving up free possessions through penalties that any real team of level-minded athletes wouldn’t be caught dead committing multiple times per game (You’ll end up with 3-in-the-key calls multiple times per game). One thing that sets this game apart from others of the era is the number of teams. With most games of the era, you were lucky to have the entire power six. In Final Four, nearly every D1 squad is available. That's a tremendous technical feat for 1998. To show this at work, this year I simulated the entire tournament in this game, and I only had to replace 1 or 2 teams. (Granted, it had Oklahoma State making a championship run so you may not want to follow my example.) Along with the great selection of schools, there is still a fun interior basketball game, along with fairly deep season and tournament modes.

2. College Hoops 2K7/2K8 (XB360/PS3/PS2)

Gamefaqs

2K sports in the aughts kicked ass. ESPN NFL 2K5, NHL 2K5, and even recently the NBA 2K games have been simply awesome. These games defined how to make excellent sports sims. The level of realism found in most of 2K's outputs was so astoundingly high that they became the standard of sports games, until they all died out 1 by 1 due either to the greed of a certain rival company, or the apathy of a certain U.S. PUBLIC. College Hoops 2K8 was the final entry in the College Hoops series, and it contained just about everything that could be wished for in a College Basketball game and more. Full legacy mode, classic teams, alternate uniforms, in season tournaments, and even a weird chant creator! This had it all! By this time, full mid-major conference inclusion was standard, but it’s still nice to see how detailed it gets. It's the attention to detail, along with solid gameplay that makes this game great. Even the tacked-on mini-games, found in the student lounge, are fun somehow! College Hoops has it all. The only real downside is the amazing difficulty in making shots on default settings. The gameplay sliders help alleviate this problem. Even the addition of gameplay sliders add to the simulation aspect of this game. That's really the major point of College Hoops 2K8: Attention to detail. Nobody put as much work into their game as 2K did here.

Gamefaqs

1. March Madness 2002 (PS2)

Gamefaqs

Choosing to put games from the same franchise on this list may seem like a bizarre choice, but March Madness 2002 and NCAA March Madness 2003 from EA Sports could not be further apart from each other in terms of gameplay. March Madness 2002 employs a much slower, but still incredibly fun, style of basketball action. It lacks a season mode and almost all of the teams from the mid-major conferences, but they are made up for in the simple and enjoyable action on the court. A.I. flaws are present in some aspects, especially on the defensive side where blocks and steals rarely occur. March Madness 2002 applies momentum, alley-oops, and fast breaks nearly perfectly. Like most others on this list, the most fun in this game comes from playing a few quick games to satisfy your march madness craving.

Gamespot

I'm just going to tell you about how great Sega Rally Championship is

Back in the mid-1990s, very few racing games could actually stand by any promise of realism. Outside of Test Drive and the early Need for Speed games, most racing games were based in fantasy. Fantasy is cool, but those looking for an actual driving experience (for whatever reason necessary) probably were left in the figurative dust of games of the era.


That was before Sega Rally Championship. This game understands driving and handling almost perfectly. This is remarkable, especially with the fact that this control, this near-perfect control, is done only on an 8 direction digital pad, without any sort of pressure sensitive buttons for acceleration. That's like Tony Hawk landing a 900 on a skateboard made from a broken, rotten 2 x 4 with a pair of roller skates strapped to the bottom with masking tape. But Sega did it.

There are only 4 courses.

But I don't even care about that

Because all 4 of the courses are great

Except for maybe the last one which is super hard.

 Only 2 playable cars? Not even sort of a problem. You don't even need more than one. Despite the limited number of features, the near-perfect controls and courses make this a must-buy for anyone with a Saturn. Even if you don't have a Saturn, you should buy one and play this game.