SUNDAY UPDATE: 1/5/14

This is a thing I want to do on Sundays in which I update people on the wonderful goings-on of myself and games. This week started in 2013 and ended in 2014, though I played games ranging from 2002-2013. Here they are:

Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour (GameCube):
I recently bought this game for the first time even though I played a bunch when I used to rent it from Blockbuster Video back in 2004 or so (Is there still a Blockbuster somewhere? I hope so, and I want to go). Don't worry, it's still very good. I never liked Mario Tennis as much as Mario Golf for whatever reason (I had a friend who swore the other way and we'd argue about that a lot).
When it comes to Mario sports games, this was always the best for me because it was a pretty solid golf game with unrealistic course design. (Necessary prior information: I've never been a fan of any sort of special moves in sports games) Toadstool Tour's on the fringe of my "games I wholeheartedly recommend for the GameCube" list. (That list includes Aggressive Inline and The Simpsons: Road Rage)

Madden 2003 (GameCube):
Alright, playoff time, narrative time:
I picked the Jets, not a great choice because they have two quarterbacks who are of equal skill level but neither of whom is exactly a legend (Vinny Testaverde and Chad Pennington, overall rating of 76 and 75, respectively), and I lost my first three games in the '02 by a combined total of ten points. But then, holy shit, I had a shootout (I hadn't scored more than 10 points in any of the first three games) with Jacksonville and won that game 31-28 or so, then beat Cleveland (a respectable team in 2002, interestingly enough), Detroit (still bad), Kansas City (hilariously bad in this game apparently), and like 4 others including Buffalo and found myself at 8-3. I lost to Miami again, then went 2-1, losing my last game to a very good Green Bay team because Vinny got hurt.

But then the playoffs came. I ended up at 11-5, second in the AFC East to Miami and ended up a wild card, playing Drew Brees and the 9-7 San Diego Chargers, a team that I would have no trouble defeating if I could score some points. I couldn't score any points on offense, and I lost 13-10 on a last second field goal, almost identical to the way I lost to Buffalo in week 2.

The Stanley Parable (PC):
Well, guess who FINALLY got around to this? People kept telling me this game was perfect for me after it came out, but I didn't get to play it for a while until they lowered the price in December. I finally got around to it this week and they were right. It's hard for me to explain, but I love humor in games (generally if your game is actually funny I'll rate it really highly) and it had a bit more of an emotional affect on me than I thought it would. I've heard this game be both praised and criticized for being a 3D "Choose your own adventure" and I can see that. I consider that a strength, though.

Antichamber (PC):

I finally got around to this one as well! Each puzzle felt rewarding and it made me feel dumb at points, which I consider a good quality for an puzzle based adventure. The black and white art style highlighted how dirty my monitor is so it loses points for that I guess

But no the art style may have actually been my favorite part of the whole game. The way that color highlighted answers that I hadn't thought of, everything was great. Every time that I got stuck somewhere and I ended up back in the antichamber, the ever-decreasing time limit brought so much suspense to a somewhat serene experience. I totally recommend this.

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That's about all of it. I played some some more Soul Hackers on New Year's Eve at some point but that was like 5 minutes or so and I don't really count that.

RIP Last Gen

With the release of the PlayStation 4 and Xbox One last week, I have to finally make amends with the fact that we're done with the generation of vidcon that brought us eight years (EIGHT YEARS) of fun for the whole family in at least one case I'm sure. So here are my ten favorites from last gen. All cover images are from Gamefaqs.com. I will point out for posterity's sake that I never owned a PlayStation 3. Handheld consoles are not counted for this list.

10. Tony Hawk's American Wasteland (XBOX 360)

THAW came out right at the beginning of the XBOX 360's lifespan, and it really didn't get much of any benefit at all from the new, more powerful 360 hardware. It's nothing that I would consider a yardstick or a barometer or whatever instrument of measurement you'd like to use (I prefer a rain gauge, personally) of the consoles themselves. The control of of THAW was probably the tightest that the series ever had, and the level design (while not as varied as some of the previous releases) was as good as ever. Definitely my favorite entry in a favorite series of mine on any of these platforms.

9. NCAA Football 14 (XBOX 360)

We're getting off to a high-class start here on the list with skateboard and football games (but what do you expect from me really). This series really dropped off after the jump to new consoles in around 2007, and had to figure out how to properly adapt to a new engine. It reached peak gameplay performance in NCAA 12, but it finally figured out what made for a really good NCAA Football (I'm defining "really good" as "something I'm not getting from Madden") game in 2014. That was as simple as having a single season mode again for those who don't feel like dealing with recruiting, easier defensive playmaking control, and the ability to make the option work.

8. WarioWare: Smooth Moves (Wii)

This is exactly what I wanted from WarioWare back in 2007. On a console whose main feature was swinging your arms everywhere, I can't think of a better use of your time than swinging your arms everywhere. WarioWare often ends up being some exhibition of a new feature (see: Basically every WarioWare game after the first), and I'm okay with that.

7. You Don't Know Jack! (Wii)

A trivia game has made it on the list ALERT A TRIVIA GAME HAS MADE IT ON THE LIST. This series was actually a favorite of my parents' in its original form during the '90s, and I'm glad to see it make a comeback like that. I only can explain why I like this so much via personal anecdote, so here it goes:
Out at the camp where I worked this past summer, I brought out my copy of the PlayStation version and played it against 2 of my co-workers (to protect their anonymity we'll refer to them as "Mighty Mouse" and "Joe"). We enjoyed that, and when we got to the Wii version, we enjoyed it just as much. Consistent quality even over a fifteen year gap, especially on a game based around humor, is hard to do.

6. Mirror's Edge (XBOX 360)

I went through a really snobby rebellious phase back in 2009 and I went searching for a game that was "different" from the "generic" games that all the "douche" kids in my middle school liked (those games were Halo 3, Call of Duty: WAW, and Madden 2009) so I went and tried a bunch of "different stuff" (Tony Hawk's Project 8, Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts, and Portal), some of which I liked, and some of which I didn't. I liked Mirror's Edge back when I first tried it, but it's one of the only games from that period that I tstill think sticks out as a really good one. (and, for what it's worth, I still haven't played anything similar to it since)

5. College Hoops 2K7 (XBOX 360)

Really killing it here on the whole "hardcore gamer" crowd. But hey, it's about everything I could want from a basketball sim. Really expansive legacy mode, gameplay sliders, that weird chant creator thing that I absolutely didn't abuse, and almost every Divison I school. I couldn't want much more than that. It's just a very fun game to sink hours into and find yourself with a team somewhere unexpected, trying to build a winning program. I absolutely recommend it to anyone who is me.

4. Secret of Monkey Island: Special Edition (XBOX 360)

So this is a great game with a great story and excellent humor from the early 1990's. I know some people weren't a huge fan of the added voice work, but I like the person who played Guybrush, and I didn't have all that much of a problem with the cursor system (though I will admit that it didn't work quite as well in a few bits as SCUMM would have). Easy to get into a classic series such as Monkey Island through a remake done as well as this one (especially at 10 dollars)

3. Rhythm Heaven Fever (Wii)

Another one of those that I played at work, and another from the guys who made WarioWare. Catchy and memorable music comes from just about every one of my favorite games, but there's something different when that music makes the game work. You'll see this in similar rhythm-focused titles like PaRappa The Rappa as well, where people remember the fun music along with the  action. I think I had so much fun with this one because my friends were playing it at around the same time, and we all got very much into it.

2. Call of Duty 2 (XBOX 360)

I like to imagine the guy here's like "LETS GO LETS GO STORM THE HILL THERE'S A BAD THING ON TOP"

There are two XBOX 360 games from 2005 on this list somehow but I'm not ashamed. The second COD game was probably the game that killed the World-War II "genre" to a certain extent. The developers left no stone unturned when it comes to knowing exactly what made a good game based upon a bloody, generation-destroying war such as WWII. The single-player mode perfected the formula that the Call of Duty series ran on (or would have run on had the games not changed dramatically in the fourth entry), moving from character to character, most of whom were simple people involved in a war much bigger than them. It managed to be cinematic, but not too cinematic to the point where it didn't feel like you were "playing." The XBOX Live multiplayer was great as well, the first that I ever experienced.

1. Skate 3 (XBOX 360)

I would lose so much street cred if anyone were to ever read this list. But Skate 3 is exactly what I wanted from skating games. It didn't feel as restricted as the original Skate (one of the main reasons that I asked for an XBOX 360 back in 2008 for a Christmas present), and I vastly preferred the setting Port Carverton to San Vanelona after a few hours of trying it. The fact that the setting was named "Port Carverton" added to why Skate's still my favorite: a stupid sense of humor. Also: Shameless product placement from Miracle Whip (they really wanted to get in cool with the kids for a while).
Also: These videos I made-

I can go for a really long time with this but I'll spare you. That was me having fun with a cool game that I like a lot, pure and simple. I've beaten it about twice but I've put more than a few extra hours into it. Highest recommendation from me.

TRYING TO KILL TIME WITH COUNTER-STRIKE SOURCE - TEACHING AN OLD DOG TO PLAY GAMES AGAIN

FBack in late 2011, I was a huge fan of Counter-Strike: Source. I played it all the time, after school and on the weekend, and it was a main source of killing time for 16 year old me. But I quit playing it for the most part after Junior Year of high school for whatever reason. But I had like thirty minutes to kill before a date tonight so I decided, hey, why not try it out again? So I booted up Steam and got ready to play some more of an old favorite!

the fuck is this

so OKAY STEAM'S GOTTA UPDATE OR SOMETHING I DUNNO PLAN B I GUESS

Half-Life 2: Deathmatch. Another time sink for when I couldn't get CS:S to play/I wanted to actually play for an extended period of time without having to sit and wait for someone else to finish up what they were playing/the 3 days that I didn't own Counter-Strike and only had Half-Life 2: Deathmatch.

Naturally, I chose the server with the most players (12 in this case, the only one with more than 10 at the moment). Half-Life 2: Deathmatch was always the Robert Griffin's Baylor to Counter-Strike: Source's Oklahoma if we're in a 2011 mindset here. CS:S was always carefully calculated, very strategic, and you'd really have to think hard and be very skilled in order to be successful. HL2, on the other hand, was just as good though very chaotic and sometimes you'd just get lucky but at other times you'd be confused as hell and die like 19 times in a row without even taking a step.

HL2 offense vs CS:S defense essentially (from SBNation)

But anyway, I got started back up right here with this:

Started Mid-Game. I don't think I ever got into that structure there in the middle

I started out well, as always

If you're me, roughly half of HL2 is dying before you get to move

This guy killed me a bunch

This guy didn't move for the whole game

Tried to use this chair as a weapon but outside of WWE they aren't great

Above View of the Map. Very hard to land on the tree

Finished not last to the guy who wasn't physically there and still only died ten times more than I did

 Game One Review: Still trying to figure out what works for me, and I realized that I wasn't good with the Magnum anymore so I pretty much used the basic machine-gun thing and the shotgun. Still, I had fun, and time was killed.

Game Two started in a much different place. For one, it was indoors

For two, there were levels!

Constant death didn't escape me, however. This time I died from a piece of metal

At this point I realized why I stopped playing video games online

 Read that chat box

mmhmm. Quality humanity from a real person who is really real. Let that sink in for a second. They probably have a job

 Probably a well paying job too

and the person on the receiving end of the abuse is a real person as well.

FINAL SCORES: SECOND TO NOT LAST PLACE also that Biceps guy left

Game 2 review: I really liked the map, much better than the first but my gilded age of gaming sorta came back, what with the whole realizing that yes, very very angry people do still play online games. My sound was actually still all the way down from when I typically played.

But this next map was great, very big with many different rooms and levels

Really big inside room

Spent a lot of time with the gravity gun interestingly enough, killed a guy with a barrel

There is a hole here, though...

And it leads to a basement. This guy stayed there and killed everyone who went down there, though

Except for me on a stupidly lucky no-scoped shot with this here crossbow

Also there's a roof

Also also I've done significantly better this time

But then I was done. So time for a final verdict:
Was Counter-Strike: Source still fun? Well not exactly
Was Half-Life 2 Deathmatch still fun? Yeah, I'd say so
Did it still hold your attention? Yes
Why did you write a post about it? Well I haven't posted since August, I think?
WHERE CAN I FIND OTHER INTERESTING WEB FUN FROM JOE BUSH

Go! Go! Hypergrind (Review)

(Written in late June on a PC with no internet connection. Figured I'd post it here finally.

Back in the late 1990s, skateboarding took off (both figuratively and literally) as a viable source of video game entertainment. Thanks to the long reach of the immaculate Tony Hawk, many (read: most) developers couldn’t resist the other, equally long reach, of almost certain cashflow. Somehow, along with those typical publishers, expected to fall into a certain trend, fell Japanese RPG giant: Atlus.

Go! Go! Hypergrind stands as Atlus’ first and only venture into the skateboard genre. Though the game’s foundation bases itself in skating, the settings and design differs heavily from anything like the typical Tony Hawk archetype. However, in terms of core mechanics, Hypergrind plays very similarly. Jumping, movement, and tricks work nearly the same way. The only real difference between the controls of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3 and Hypergrind comes with flip tricks, as they are completely nonexistent in Hypergrind.

Along with the standard tricks, Hypergrind includes a variety of “appeals,” which come from various different stage obstacles, including decapitations, being covered in paint, and flattenings from obstacles as typical as construction machines to absurdities, like dinosaurs and alligators. Appeals add a new element to skating, unseen in any other game that I’ve played.

Unlike many skating games, Hypergrind’s story actually matters. Eleven cartoon characters have been chosen to restore interest in hand-drawn animation (accentuated by excellent cel-shaded graphics). The way that this happens apparently revolves around skateboarding or something. Every level operates under a series of competitions, ranging from simply scoring the most points, to a head to head race to gather the most points. Score carries from level to level, so competition is constant and remains suspenseful throughout all eight locations.

While I’m very experienced when it comes to skateboarding games, Hypergrind manages to stand out from the pack. While the quality does not stand up to that of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3 or 4, and the stages are basically subpar, the art style and general gameplay mechanics make Hypergrind unique at the very least. Which is more than can be said for Grind Session, Transworld Skateboarding, MTV’s Skateboarding featuring Andy MacDonald, or most of the Tony Hawk games past Underground.

3DS Outpost: Niche game alert

Has anyone heard of this new game? It's called "Crossing Mammals" or something like that. "Animals Walking."

Danimals Talking or something like that

I don't really know. I guess it's about some guy talking with some little creatures who can talk. You gotta take this guy (or girl) and dig holes and catch fish so you can make some raccoon guy happy (with your money) (named after a musical instrument). Except this new one on the 3DS also has some girl sheep that you gotta make happy. While still paying the raccoon guy.

Of course this new sheep girl doesn't want your money. She wants you to be nice and plant trees or something until everybody thinks you're nice and they like you. Also you're the chieftan or something. That probably could have been said earlier. Governor. Mayor. One of those. I wouldn't have voted for me. 

So you act as a diplomat and you cross animals for like six hours per day and you don't do anything else with your actual life. You now live with small animal people and you owe your soul and your finances to a fucking raccoon in an apron. Really fun. I recommend this to anyone and everyone who can find a copy. You'll spend days planting trees and hanging up fish and sympathizing with clothes porcupines, just so you can become the best mayor ever. Then population grows. It's a wild world. 

With these city folks.

new

leaf

3DS Outpost: Desperate Times Call for Ice Climber Multi-player

Background: I work at a summer camp. Sometimes it rains at a summer camp. One of those instances, and a particularly dangerous one, happened at 4:30 AM on Friday, May 30th, 2013.

And so, when you and a fellow staffer (doba) are sitting in the dining hall for like 2 hours in the early morning, having already beaten WarioWare and being just kind of tired of everything, you take a desperate route:

Ice Climber download multi-player mode.

Ice Climber became available to 3DS owners in 2011 with the 3DS Ambassador program. Of these twenty titles, Ice Climberstands out as one of the most questionable releases. While many players, mainly those from the 1980s but not limited to them, remember Ice Climber fairly well, many current players stay away from it due to the slippery controls and narrow jump arc. I fall in the latter category.

Single player in Ice Climber works like this: Run left and right, then jump to clear a hole in the icy ceiling above, then jump again to go through said hole. If any animals come, show no mercy and hit them in the head with a hammer. If you fall through your own hole, then you're dead. Do that three times and Game Over. Though I never played Ice Climber while growing up, all of my experiences with it could have been worse.

Multi-player in Ice Climber works... exactly the same way. There's another one, though. It's sorta like a race between the blue one (Popo) and the pink one (Nana). Though vertical scrolling typically kills the player in single player, one player's speedy ascent cannot lead to another's lost life as long as the player on the bottom doesn't fall into a hole. That's nice, as it keeps the competition going between both players, as well as doing a part not to make the multi-player unplayably hard. 

Via the 3DS' download play, Ice Climber's multi-player works fairly well. Not bad, not great, but certainly lasting.

The 3DS Outpost: First, a few confessions

I like to title things. That's my first confession. I like having columns with titles. I also like the 3DS. In this "Column," as it could loosely be titled, I'll talk about the 3DS.  Now for some 3DS-related confessions:

1. I haven't played with the 3D on for months
It gives me a headache. That sucks because I like the 3D effect but I don't so much like physical pain. Granted, even before the system launched, I thought that I would never use the 3D because I assumed that there would be problems with the technology. Thankfully, there were none, but I still don't use the 3D technology.

2. There are a few MP3s on my SD Card
I'm willing to bet that most people don't know that the 3DS has the capability to play MP3s. Well, it can. I've written about this feature before, (Mainly about the laughable attempts at auto-chiptune creation) but still, I have yet to meet anyone who actually uses the 3DS' music player capabilities. I knew a few people back in the sixth grade who used the MP3 player on the PSP, but other than that, these tacked-on music players on gaming devices seem to be mostly obsolete. I wonder when they'll stop trying.

3. I haven't used SwapNote in months
Others have probably done the same. I haven't checked it, even though I could. Really. My 3DS is right next to me and I don't even care enough to look. Sorry if you have sent me anything in the past few months, either of you.

4. My collection does not contain any sports games
Weird, considering the fact that I basically play sports games and nothing else if the stuff that I upload online is any measure. Is that weird? I hope not. At this point, I've only seen a handful of sports games available for purchase. There's a Madden game, Mario Tennis, and a few FIFA and Pro Evolution Soccer games. I like the idea that both FIFA and PES are available on the system, as that seems to be the only real competition in sports games currently going (unless you want to count the competition between the arcade style NBA Jam and the sim NBA 2K series) I'll probably buy PES 2013 sometime soon.

5. The 3DS is home to my favorite game
My favorite game of all time (at this point, at least) is Mario Kart 7. MK7 currently sits atop my 3DS' rankings in terms of both hours played and times played, mainly because in early 2012, it became a distraction from insomnia. There's nothing better than being unable to sleep at 1 AM and racing against a group of Japanese people. (Correction: Losing against a group of Japanese people). I still consider MK7 to be the best Mario Kart and the most fun game on the 3DS, as well as probably the best game of all time up to this point.

So those are a few confessions. Feel free to comment yours as well!